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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.
  • There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.
  • Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.
  • If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.
  • Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.
  • Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.