Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.