Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.
  • Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.
  • Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.
  • If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.
  • This is my phone. I text back when I want to.
  • Might quit my job to focus on summer.