Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.
  • Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.
  • I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”
  • “You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.
  • Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.
  • Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.