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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,830

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Going viral on Messenger:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not again. I mean good morning.

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Reaching for the stars, one clumsy step at a time 🌟😜🚀

dreamy, fantasy, girl, me, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star, whimsical

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

2 months ago
activity, advice, basketball, dating, dating advice, easy, finger, fun, fun activity, getting, girlfriend, just, relationship, relationship tips, spin, tips
It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

1 month ago
cold, dark, humor, me, outside, relationship, think, weather, winter
Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

1 month ago
frustration, humor, i, internet, keep, page, persistence, rage, refreshing, still, waiting
Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

1 month ago
breakup, broke, congratulations, emotional, emotional support, enough, humor, know, me, needs, people, relationship, support, therapy
Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

1 month ago
behavior, blame, cat, cat behavior, fault, humor, i, me, morning, morning routine, pet, pet humor, routine, together, too, wake, wake up, whenever
I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

4 months ago
activity, adult, adults, break, close, fun, fun activity, i, job, jobs, just, months, need, outside, play, please, relaxation, summer, summer vacation, think, three, tired, vacation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Making waves on Threads:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Shared recently on X:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Just shared via WeChat:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Trending via Twitch:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Time needs a speed limit.

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

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A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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