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Trying to stop aging is like pressing pause on a horror movieโyou're just prolonging the jumpscare! ๐ฌ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฑ
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Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

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Apparently itโs inappropriate to yell out โShots, shots, shots, shotsโ while your childโs getting immunizations at the pediatricianโs office.
Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?
anyone, difficulty, frustration, humor, joke, know, life, sarcasm, self-deprecation, setting, stressWhen you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.
5, 8, 9, actually, commute, hours, humor, job, management, realize, teleport, teleportation, time, time management, work, work hoursThe real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.
Met a microbiologist once. Theyโre a lot bigger than I imagined.
bigger, expectation, funny observation, humor, i, joke, lot, microbiologist, observation, once, science, size
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