Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Trending via Facebook:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Spotted on Twitch:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Making waves on YouTube:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Spotted on WeChat:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Going bananas on Threads:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

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Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.
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Commentary:
Trying to stop aging is like pressing pause on a horror movie—you're just prolonging the jumpscare! 🎬🧟‍♂️😱

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

100 shares on Discord this month:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Spotted on Instagram:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Spotted on WeChat:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Live now on WeChat:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Just landed via Twitch:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Trending via X:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Trending via WeChat:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

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