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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Going viral on TikTok:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Just shared via Facebook:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Making waves on WeChat:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Live now on Threads:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Funny quote about aging highlighting how resisting it is more alarming than the process itself.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to stop aging is like pressing pause on a horror movie—you're just prolonging the jumpscare! 🎬🧟‍♂️😱

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Discord this month:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

91 shares on Twitch this month:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

94 shares on X this month:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Breaking via YouTube:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Going bananas on TikTok:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Making waves on Slack:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Trending via Discord:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Making waves on Messenger:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Spotted on Messenger:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

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