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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,004

Social Media Log 💫

An electric car is just another electric chair.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Charging up for a ride in the electric chair… I mean, car! ⚡😅 Hoping it's a shockingly good drive! ⚡🚗 #ElectrifyingExperience"

another, car, chair, electric, electric car, electric chair, humor, irony, joke, just, pun, technology, transportation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

0

2 months ago

calculations, existential, humor, irony, joke, life, math, screwed
I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

0

2 months ago

2, afternoon, am, bedtime, day, fatigue, i, sleep, tired, wish
The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

0

2 months ago

accidental, constant, humor, life, lock, lock screen, screen, screenshot, technology
I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

0

2 months ago

attraction, buysexual, date, food, humor, i, joke, me, relationship
Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

0

4 months ago

attitude, being, bullshit, coping, everyday, graceful, gracefully, humor, life, only, resilience, through, unhinged
Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

0

2 months ago

communication, digital, digital humor, emoji, humor, sarcasm, serious, seriousness, show, texting, using, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

92 shares on Slack this month:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

51 shares on X this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

70 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

14 shares on Slack this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Trending via Discord:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Live now on X:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Trending via Reddit:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Spotted on TikTok:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Making waves on Telegram:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨