Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.
  • Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.
  • My wallet is empty, just like my soul.
  • Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.
  • That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.
  • A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.