“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

"Are you free tomorrow?" No, tomorrow I'm still expensive.

Commentary:
“Sorry, can’t downgrade my worth even for a day! 💁‍♀️💸 #sorrynotsorry”

, , , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, bumble bee, the original party crasher! 🐝💃 Who knew buzzing could lead to such a chaotic dance-off? Watch out, you might just get stung with compliments next time! 🎶😆 #BeeGoneWild”

  • A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

    Commentary:
    👻 Welcome to the scariest place of all… the haunted house of awkward social interactions! Picture this: you enter a dimly lit room, feeling the gaze of many eyes on you. As you tentatively make your way through the crowd, instead of ghosts jumping out from the shadows, you are met with people eagerly awaiting your fun fact reveal! The horror, the suspense, the sheer terror of having to come up with something interesting to say about yourself on the spot! Truly,

  • Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

    Commentary:
    “Feeling like the true MVP when your friend’s mom holds you up as the shining beacon of responsibility and success 💪🏼🌟 Just call me the model citizen, setting the bar high for all the other mere mortals out there! 😂 #FlexedToTheMax”

  • The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

    Commentary:
    Oh, so apparently women are exempt from the “ugly” label? 🙅‍♀️ Must be nice living in a world where flaws magically disappear just because of your gender! 💁‍♀️ Looks like some people need a reality check to level up from their boyhood beliefs! 🤔✨ #BeautyIsSubjective

  • Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew reaching Cloud 9 came with a ‘mind the gap’ warning? 🌥️😂 Better pack a parachute for that high-flying descent down to reality!”

  • Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the ultimate test of laziness – lying next to your charger, embracing the inevitable demise of your phone’s battery 😂🔋 #LazyGoals”