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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

331 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,924

Funny Quotes Topics

17,097

Funny Quotes Images

14,924

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,943

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Going bananas on Facebook:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew I'd be trading clubbing for birding? At least these 'night owls' are quiet! 🦉👀😂

age, aging, amazing, bird-watching, birdwatching, creeps, fast, hobby, humor, nature, older, older age, pastime, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

1 month ago

communication, humor, husband, marriage, me, pray, relationship, struggle
Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

1 month ago

better, big, Big Mac sauce, bread, cheese, cooking, food, humor, joke, mac, meal, meat, salad, sauce, taste
You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

1 month ago

anything, early, fun, humor, humor quote, meeting, motivation, office, office humor, person, procrastination, productivity, sarcasm, workplace
Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

2 months ago

able, clothing, fall, fashion, frustration, got, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, i, long-sleeve, long-sleeve shirt, mismatch, new, sad, seasonal, seasonal frustration, shirt, sorry, temperature, wear, weather, weather mismatch
Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

1 month ago

apology, attitude, gangster, humor, interaction, say, saying, saying sorry, social, social interaction, sorry, toughness
Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

1 month ago

good, greeting, humor, morning, personality, sarcastic, sunshine, wit

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Just landed via Discord:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Breaking via Slack:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Just shared via Threads:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

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Activity Log ✨

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

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As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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