32 funny amazing quotes - Wordgag

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

May 30, 2026

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

May 30, 2026

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

May 29, 2026

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

May 29, 2026

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

May 28, 2026

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

May 28, 2026

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

May 27, 2026

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

May 27, 2026

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

May 26, 2026

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

May 25, 2026

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

May 25, 2026

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

May 25, 2026

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

May 25, 2026

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

May 25, 2026

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

May 24, 2026

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

May 24, 2026

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

May 23, 2026

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

May 22, 2026

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

May 22, 2026

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

May 22, 2026

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

May 22, 2026

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

May 22, 2026

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

May 22, 2026

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

May 22, 2026

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

May 21, 2026

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

May 21, 2026

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

May 21, 2026

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

May 21, 2026

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

May 21, 2026

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

May 21, 2026

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

May 19, 2026

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

May 19, 2026