Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I had too much to think last night.

Just landed via Threads:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Spotted on WeChat:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Making waves on Twitch:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Trending via Twitch:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

3 weeks ago

Humorous text image with a cashier interaction joke, lighthearted and relatable.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Social anxiety level: secretly hoping to win an Oscar for my response 🎭😅

asking, cashier, customer, doing, greeting, humor, interaction, question, service, situation, social, social situation, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

4 weeks ago

dancing, expression, fake, hand, hands, humor, jazz, jazz hand, performance, smile
I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

3 weeks ago

broccoli, diet, doing, drinking, dry, Dry January, food, happy, happy time, hard, humor, i, January, me, support, time, times, tough, tough time
The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

4 weeks ago

attitude, bigger, confidence, humor, personality, science, size, smaller, woman
My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

1 month ago

came, cat, cats, communication, home, humor, i, late, me, pet, relationship, talk, work
Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

1 month ago

comedy, commitment, destroy, destroying, humor, job, life, partnership, person, relationships
When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

1 month ago

activity, fun, fun activity, i, sh, shopping, sit, sit down, tired

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I have a yearning disability.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

38 shares on X this month:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Just shared via Facebook:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Making waves on Messenger:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Making waves on WeChat:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Just landed via WeChat:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Spotted on Discord:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Making waves on Messenger:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Making waves on Telegram:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨