Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Going bananas on WeChat:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Going viral on Slack:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Just landed via YouTube:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Trending via WhatsApp:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Trending via Snapchat:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone's thoughts are buffering today! 🐦💭🔄

babe, communication, humor, manic, manic thought, media, relationship, social, social media, thought, thoughts, today, tweet, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

0

4 days ago

explaining, humor, judge, judgment, just, me, much, myself, please, sarcasm, too, work
Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad hair day, day, due, frustration, hair, humidity, humor, violence, weather
Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

0

2 months ago

call, clarinet, customer, customer service, enjoy, entertainment, five, humor, important, long wait, minutes, music, next, number, service, us, wait, waiting
Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

0

2 months ago

bed, door, night, rose, Titanic
It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

0

2 months ago

command, even, frustration, humor, irony, joke, relationship, sarcasm, wish
I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

0

2 months ago

arguing, argument, big, Big Mac, busy, couple, door, hiding, humor, i, mac, next, observation, trash, trash can, vegan, watching, wrapper

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

80 shares on X this month:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

35 shares on Slack this month:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Trending via Instagram:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Making waves on Facebook:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Making waves on Slack:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Trending via YouTube:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Making waves on X:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Going viral on Threads:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨