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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,949

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Going viral on Facebook:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Shared recently on Discord:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Who needs a knight in shining armor when you can have a TV remote and some peace? 🏰🍕📺

act, asking, being, better, dating, gender, gender role, humor, man, relationship, role, sarcasm, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

1 month ago
before, fake, fake tan, funny moment, glasses, humor, husband, marriage, moment, tan, teeth
I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

1 month ago
3, bad, craving, desire, dollars, humor, i, joke, know, million, money, pregnant, wealth
“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

1 month ago
ears, humor, music, reaction, turn, turn down
Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

1 month ago
asked, emotions, even, expression, facial, facial expression, feelings, humor, lot, okay, people, relatable, shout, shout out
If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

1 month ago
honesty, humor, lie, me, relationship, retaliation, sarcasm, tell, truth
Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

1 month ago
friend, humor, media, memory, nostalgia, relationship, Snapchat, social, social media

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I love it when God gives me money.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Just landed via Slack:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Making waves on Telegram:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Trending via Facebook:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Going viral on Instagram:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

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Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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