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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,004

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Going bananas on X:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Going viral on WeChat:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Just shared via Reddit:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Breaking via Reddit:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Of course not, Dre just forgot to text me back! 🎤🕶️😂"

bro, casual, casual conversation, conversation, Dre, forget, humor, just, question, seriously, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

1 month ago
advice, bed, death, death bed, expression, feel, feelings, finger, humor, know, let, life, life advice, middle, middle finger, raise, regret, too, wait
What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

2 months ago
confusion, contradiction, everything, humor, intelligence, irony, smart, stupid
Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

1 month ago
accounts, avoid, avoidance, dating, deactivation, girl, girl math, humor, math, media, only, person, relationship, social, social media
Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

1 month ago
25, bliss, couple, happy, humor, husband, irony, love, marriage, relationship
Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

4 months ago
enough, escape, health, humor, i, identity, mental, mental health, need, new, passport, self-improvement, therapy, travel
Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

2 months ago
fruit, gardening, humor, irony, logic, plant, question, seeds, watermelon

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Trending via TikTok:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Shared recently on Threads:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Live now on Twitch:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Broadcasted on X:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

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Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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