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I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

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A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

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Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

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Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

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Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

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My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

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Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

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Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Commentary:
"Of course not, Dre just forgot to text me back! ๐ŸŽค๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚"



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