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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Spotted on Slack:

Netflix & by yourself.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Going viral on X:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Breaking via Slack:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Witty text about breaking a work phone and finally disconnecting, humorous and playful.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh no, what a shame! 📱😅 Who knew breaking your work phone could be a blessing in disguise? Now you have the perfect excuse for some peace and quiet! 🤫💼 #AccidentalSilence"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WeChat this month:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

94 shares on X this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Spotted on WeChat:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Breaking via Snapchat:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

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