Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

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Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

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Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

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Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.