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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Seen just now on Slack:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Live now on Twitch:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Trending via Twitch:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Trending via X:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Going viral on WeChat:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

2 months ago

0

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the majestic hierarchy of the burger world! 🍔👑 One can only imagine the noble Quarter Pounder ruling over its loyal subjects, the humble Chicken Nuggets and the rebellious Onion Rings. Long live the Burger King and may the French Fries be ever in your flavor! 👑🍟🍔 #BurgerFeudalism

burger, Burger King, existence, fast, fast food, feudal, feudal system, food, food joke, humor, joke, king, monarchy, satire, system

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

0

2 months ago

argument, arguments, eaten, food, humor, hunger, mood, patience, relationship, someone, start
I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

0

2 months ago

20, actual, animation, entertainment, humor, i, Kung-Fu, last, movy, Panda, think, wildlife, year’s
Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

0

2 months ago

balance, decision, focus, girlfriend, humor, job, love, quitting, relationship, thinking, work life, work-life balance
On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

0

2 months ago

end, entertainment, getting, humor, i, irony, know, movie, nostalgia, observation, over, people, put, remember, screen, smart, smarter, whole
A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

0

2 months ago

bad, good, heartbreak, humor, laughter, love, music, relationship, ruin, song
I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

0

2 months ago

being, bet, feels, full, good, i, moon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Discord this month:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

29 shares on X this month:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Making waves on Telegram:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

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