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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Making waves on Facebook:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Going viral on X:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Trending via Messenger:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Breaking via Instagram:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Spotted on WeChat:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Trending via WhatsApp:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Trending via YouTube:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Breaking via Discord:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the credit card company sees me at the checkout line, they should start playing the Rocky theme song! 🥦💳🥊

boost, buying, credit, credit score, debt, finance, food, food stamp, grocery, humor, management, money, money management, score, shopping, should, stamp

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

0

2 months ago

date, dress, dress up, expectations, funny situation, guess, humor, i, interview, okay, romantic, situation, weird
I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

0

2 months ago

experience, humor, i, irony, learned, learning, lesson, sarcasm, teacher, teaching, times
Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

0

2 months ago

activity, chili, digestion, eat, food, fun, fun activity, humor, joke, Sunday, superbowl
I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

0

2 months ago

brag, forget, forgetfulness, humor, i, mean, memory, saying, speaking, while
Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

0

2 months ago

bunker, date, emerge, humor, joke, just, millennium, nostalgia, okay, panic, survival, Y2K
I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

0

2 months ago

adult, being, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, idea, life, lotion, skincare

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

44 shares on Threads this month:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

94 shares on X this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Going viral on Twitch:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨