Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"When you realize you could be a character in someone else's simulation… Might as well request a 'working-from-home' simulation setting, right? 🤖💼 #RealityCheck #SimulatedProductivity"

call, humor, just, living, office, reality, simulation, technology, today, virtual, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

0

2 months ago

news, newspaper, reading, social media, Twitter
First World War. Kind of nervous.

0

2 months ago

first world war, history, humor, joke, kind, nervous, war, world
I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

0

2 months ago

day, humor, i, morning, relate, rooster, screaming, start, want
I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

0

2 months ago

composition, congratulations, flattery, humor, i, post, read, sexy
The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

0

5 months ago

40, age, enough, frustration, humor, joke, lowered, needs, retirement, retirement age, work
The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

0

2 months ago

beaver, Eager, humor, productive, productivity, pun, specy, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

61 shares on Discord this month:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Shared recently on Slack:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Just shared via Snapchat:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Trending via Threads:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Making waves on Slack:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

First World War. Kind of nervous.

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨