Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"When you realize you could be a character in someone else's simulation… Might as well request a 'working-from-home' simulation setting, right? 🤖💼 #RealityCheck #SimulatedProductivity"

call, humor, just, living, office, reality, simulation, technology, today, virtual, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

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4 minutes ago

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My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

0

4 months ago

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You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

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2 months ago

advice, always, dangerous, dangerous thing, doing, helmet, humor, politics, safety, should, talking, thing, things, wear
I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

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2 months ago

commentary, diet, eat, food, fry, humor, i, irony, planning, rich, salad, satire, social, social commentary
Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

0

2 months ago

favorite, guess, honesty, humor, motive, never, people, person, personality, personality trait, selfish, selfish person, trait
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

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4 months ago

doll, humor, joke, money, payment, please, pocket, put, superstition, voodoo, voodoo doll

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on YouTube this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Breaking via Discord:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Making waves on Twitch:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Just shared via Twitch:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Trending via Reddit:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Just shared via Facebook:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Going viral on Facebook:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Spotted on X:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Spotted on Messenger:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨