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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

847 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,009

Funny Quotes Topics

13,946

Funny Quotes Images

11,009

3 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Just landed via Threads:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Freshly posted on X:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Going viral on Facebook:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Going viral on TikTok:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Just landed via Messenger:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Just shared via Slack:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

6 months ago

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like your Zoom calls are turning into an impromptu concert experience! 🎤🎶 Who knew your voice was so captivating that it's drawing in a virtual audience? Maybe you should consider taking your show on the road…or at least to a soundproof room! 🤣🎵 #SerenadingColleagues"

call, calls, distracting, everyone, finds, home, humor, office, outside, singing, video, video call, work, work from home, Zoom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

847 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,009

Funny Quotes Topics

13,946

Funny Quotes Images

11,009

3 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Reported on Snapchat:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Shared recently on Discord:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Making waves on Slack:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Making waves on TikTok:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Live now on Snapchat:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Going viral on Instagram:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

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