Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Going bananas on Threads:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Making waves on Slack:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Trending via Instagram:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Making waves on Telegram:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Spotted on Reddit:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Working from mind today! 🧠📞 Guess that means I’m always 'on call' 😉✨"

communication, humor, joke, know, morning, sarcasm, telepathy, thinking, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

0

2 months ago

card, comparison, credit, credit card, denied, financial, humor, joke, used, wit
The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal care, care, courtesy, courtesy poodle, dachshund, great, hang, having, humor, insurance, pet, pet insurance, pets, poodle, thing, us, vet
I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

0

2 months ago

brightness, charisma, confidence, humor, ignore, impact, impossible, necessary, presence, self-esteem, sun
At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

0

4 weeks ago

day, end, humor, identity, independence, just, me, reflection, self, solitude
You should be able to call in sad to work.

0

2 months ago

able, call, excuses, humor, sad, should, work, workplace
I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

0

2 months ago

bus, condition, die, fast, humor, i, joke, life, reference, speed, urgency, walk, where, wherever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

76 shares on Slack this month:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Making waves on Facebook:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Making waves on TikTok:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Seen just now on Threads:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

You should be able to call in sad to work.

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨