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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Live now on Threads:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Live now on Reddit:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Just shared via Facebook:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Spotted on Telegram:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Seen just now on Reddit:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who's paying attention to angles when we're all busy judging the crush's wall art choices? 🎨😂💻

7th, 7th grade, able, bedroom, being, class, crush, girl, grade, imagine, learning, math, math class, online, online class, school, virtual, virtual learning, Zoom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

0

5 months ago

connection, humor, me, merge, merge soul, quirky, relationship, soul, weird
I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

0

2 months ago

butterfly, butterfly feeling, dating, emotions, feeling, feelings, give, having, humor, i, me, miss, people, point, relationships, roach, roach vibe, vibe, vibes
Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

0

5 months ago

food, food name, humor, miso, miso soup, name, pun, silly, soup, wordplay, yes
My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

0

2 months ago

bet, care, dental, dental hygienist, dentist, dentist visit, grooming, guys, hair, humor, hygienist, i, nose, nose hair, personal, personal care, thinking, visit
I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

0

2 months ago

believe, i, life, me, nap, someone, take, time
Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

0

2 months ago

bread, faith, food, garlic, humor, i, love, marriage, relationship, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

25 shares on Twitch this month:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Shared recently on Threads:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Just shared via Twitch:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Spotted on Facebook:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Spreading quickly via X:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Making waves on Threads:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨