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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Going viral on Facebook:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Just shared via Messenger:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Seen just now on Slack:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Just shared via Instagram:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Going viral on Messenger:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Funny quote about 7th grade curiosity and sneaky Zoom bedroom spying.
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Commentary:
Who's paying attention to angles when we're all busy judging the crush's wall art choices? 🎨😂💻

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Threads this month:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

74 shares on Instagram this month:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It seems really unfair that my future depends on me.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

85 shares on Slack this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Spotted on TikTok:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Spotted on WeChat:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Trending via Reddit:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Live now on WeChat:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Spotted on WeChat:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

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