18 funny Zoom quotes - Wordgag

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

May 24, 2026

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

May 23, 2026

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

May 22, 2026

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

May 22, 2026

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

May 21, 2026

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

May 21, 2026

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

May 21, 2026

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

May 20, 2026

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

May 19, 2026

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

May 19, 2026

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Apr 1, 2026

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Mar 31, 2026

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Mar 30, 2026

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Mar 30, 2026

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Mar 30, 2026

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Mar 30, 2026

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Mar 29, 2026

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Mar 28, 2026