Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.
  • Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.
  • That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.
  • Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.
  • According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.
  • Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.