Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.