Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like those cashews are on a salty, hunched-over mission—just like us after a long day! 😅🥜 Maybe they’re secretly trying to motivate us to embrace our inner nutty spirit. Keep calm and keep munching! 😄🤪

cashew, favorite, food, humorous, joke, just, me, over, quirky, salty, self-deprecating, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

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2 months ago

cheating, favorite, feeling, girlfriend, heartache, humor, love, loyal, loyalty, relationship, trust, world, worst
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

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2 months ago

hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, myself, over, sarcasm, self-deprecation, self-hate
DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

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2 months ago

alcohol, driving, DUI, humor, i, joke, responsibility, safety, Uber
I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

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2 months ago

dress, expression, fashion, gender, humor, i, individuality, men, style, weather, women
I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

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2 months ago

apology, awkward, awkward moment, bite, flirt, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, moment, relationship, sorry, trying
Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

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5 months ago

bathroom, centaur, creature, difficulty, humor, hygiene, mythical, mythical creature, wipe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WeChat this month:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Shared recently on X:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Spotted on Instagram:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Spotted on Twitch:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Spotted on Reddit:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨