Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

We like to vilify hot people, but itโ€™s important to know that people who arenโ€™t hot are also terrible.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that youโ€™ve been storing at your parentsโ€™ house for 20 years.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Breaking news: youโ€™re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so Iโ€™m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Trending via Twitch:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Ribbed condoms donโ€™t even taste like ribs.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Live now on Instagram:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Iโ€™ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, Iโ€™m telling your mom.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Whoโ€™s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Iโ€™m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, Iโ€™d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Going viral on Threads:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Looks like Cupid missed the mark on this one! ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ’˜ Who knew love could be so hazardous? Maybe next time Cupid should consider switching to a Nerf bow and arrow for safety reasons. ๐Ÿน #ValentinesDayGoneWrong"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Pinterest:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Just shared via X:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. Iโ€™m going to need some new crayons.

Spotted on Discord:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive lifeโ€™s daily bullshit.

Going viral on YouTube:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Breaking via TikTok:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Just landed via Slack:

Outlook just asked me if Iโ€™m โ€œenjoyingโ€ Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Making waves on Twitch:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Making waves on Threads:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Not now, Iโ€™m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

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