Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.
  • Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?
  • I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.
  • Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.
  • I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.
  • Breaking news is really breaking me.