Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Just shared via Instagram:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Just shared via Reddit:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Just shared via Discord:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Just landed via Discord:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Making waves on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

1 week ago

Witty text about dogs and cats' funny differences, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dogs: the eager beavers of the pet world, always ready for action 🐶. Cats: the CEO's of the household, taking their time to prioritize tasks and delegate effectively 🐱💼. If only we could all have a bit of that feline cool 😎!"

back, behavior, call, cat, dog, humor, message, pet, pet behavior, procrastination, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

54 shares on X this month:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Just shared via TikTok:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Breaking via WeChat:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

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