Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.
  • My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.
  • Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.
  • I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.
  • Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.
  • I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.