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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Just landed via Telegram:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Going viral on Telegram:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Making waves on Slack:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Spotted on Facebook:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Trending via Snapchat:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

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Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless struggle of doing nothing! It's a never-ending quest with no clear finish line in sight. Just when you think you've mastered the art of doing nothing, you realize that there's always more nothing to be done. It's a true test of patience and perseverance, with the ultimate reward being… well, nothing!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

35 shares on Threads this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,797

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Going bananas on Twitch:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Trending via TikTok:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Just shared via Messenger:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Just shared via Instagram:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Shared recently on X:

I am thick and tired.

Just landed via Threads:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

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