Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

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They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

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Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

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Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

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Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

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Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

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You wish you had this many chins.

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Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.