Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Just shared via Reddit:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That little girl knew what was up! #LifeGoals 😂🛌☕

childhood, ever, girl, humor, i, little, morning, procrastination, tomorrow, want, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, bed, changes, different, excited, excitement, getting, humor, level, life, life changes, responsibility, sleep
Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

0

2 months ago

activity, avoid, avoiding, avoiding someone, awkwardness, burn, calorie, calorie burn, exercise, exercise humor, funny activity, humor, i, just, know, social, social awkwardness, someone, trying, Walmart
A McRib killed my tapeworm.

0

2 months ago

diet, fast, fast food, food, humor, joke, killed, McRib, tapeworm
There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

0

4 months ago

1, advertising, break, commercial, commercials, day, entertainment, humor, media, month, should, television
You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

0

2 months ago

birth, born, death, die, existence, honesty, humor, lie, life
Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

0

2 months ago

bowl, craving, cream, dessert, emptiness, empty, food, humor, ice, ice cream, licking, sadness, small, staring, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

37 shares on Slack this month:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

31 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Trending via WeChat:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Spotted on Instagram:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Trending via Messenger:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Just shared via Threads:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Live now on Discord:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Going viral on Reddit:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨