Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,990

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Trending via Instagram:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Spotted on Facebook:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Live now on X:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Making waves on Slack:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize that on Thanksgiving, you're the turkey, and it's a power struggle with the cranberry sauce 🦃💪😂

everything, except, holiday, humor, power, satire, sex, Thanksgiving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

0

1 month ago

act, apology, awkwardness, backfire, day, hard, humor, i, mishap, normal, self-awareness, social, social mishap, sorry, trying, trying to act normal, weird
Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

0

2 months ago

arguing, humor, kids, little, normalize, parenting, rude
That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

0

3 months ago

conversation, conversations, distraction, focus, got, half, head, loud, mind, missed, moment, music, relatable, restart, song, too
I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

0

2 months ago

apology, french, humor, language, mispronunciation, soiree, wordplay, words
It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

0

1 month ago

absurd, absurdity, AI, before, fast, fast food, food, fresh, fry, humor, innovation, keep, longer, pushing, silicon, Silicon Valley, technology, us, valley
Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

0

1 month ago

adults, advice, emotionally, emotionally unstable, good, great, health, humor, life, life advice, media, mental, mental health, satire, social, social media, Twitter, unstable

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on X this month:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

54 shares on Threads this month:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

82 shares on Threads this month:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Making waves on Slack:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Going viral on Slack:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Going viral on Telegram:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨