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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

880 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,042

Funny Quotes Topics

13,983

Funny Quotes Images

11,042

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Instagram:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Seen just now on Threads:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Going viral on Messenger:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Spotted on X:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

880 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,042

Funny Quotes Topics

13,983

Funny Quotes Images

11,042

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Just landed via X:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Spreading quickly via X:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Reported on Reddit:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Just shared via TikTok:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Making waves on Facebook:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

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