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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Live now on WeChat:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Spotted on Snapchat:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

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Funny restaurant joke quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Live now on Telegram:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Seen just now on Telegram:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Making waves on TikTok:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Trending via Facebook:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

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