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57 Funny times quotes

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

3 months ago

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

3 months ago

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

3 months ago

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

3 months ago

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

3 months ago

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

3 months ago

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

3 months ago

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

3 months ago

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

3 months ago

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

3 months ago

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

3 months ago

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

3 months ago

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

3 months ago

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

3 months ago

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

3 months ago

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

3 months ago

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

3 months ago