180 Funny today quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, Monday – the perfect day to practice your Oscar-worthy whining and complain-tastic skills! 🙄 Remember to add in some extra melodramatic sighs for that special touch! 😂 #MondayBlues"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

  Commentary:
  "Today's agenda: professional bed-rotter and potential squanderer. 💤🛌 Don't mind me, just reaching maximum entropy levels here. 😅 #ProcrastinationGameStrong"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

  Commentary:
  "Thursday, the middle child of the week, always struggling to find its place. Why bother, when we all just want to fast forward to Friday anyway? 😆🤷‍♂️ #ThursdayBlues"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even your to-do list needs a to-do list! 📝😆 Who needs a personal assistant when you've got jokes like these! 💁‍♂️ #ProcrastinationNation"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

  Commentary:
  "Step aside, world! It's time for some serious overestimation of my importance today 💁‍♂️👑. Who needs humility when you've got confidence in abundance? Fly high, believe in your fabulousness, and remember, the universe revolves around YOU today! 🌎💫 #FeelingExtraSpecial #EgoOnFleek"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

  Commentary:
  Oh no, the thought of a world where the Hoff and KITT are not part of young minds is downright scary 🤖🚗! Quick, someone activate the Turbo Boost on their nostalgia receptors! Time to introduce a whole new generation to the magical world of talking cars and feathered hair! 🌟 #BackToThe80s #KnightRiderForever

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the delicate art of balancing gratitude and entitlement – like a seesaw of emotions! 🙏🏼➡️😈 Just remember, too much thankfulness might lead to a sugar rush of positivity! 🍭 Today, let the ungratefulness and entitlement flow like a river of sarcasm! 💁🏻‍♂️💅🏼"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

  Commentary:
  "Wow, talk about getting some 'whine' with your wind workout! 🌬️🍷 Just breezing into the wine store like a true connoisseur. Maybe Mother Nature just knows you need a little vino after that intense cardio session! 💨💪🏼 #windyworkout"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

  Commentary:
  🎄🐱 It's time for the annual battle of Cat vs. Christmas Tree! Will the tree survive the day of feline antics, or will it be adorned with ornaments of mischief and mischief only? Stay tuned for the purr-fect drama! 😸 #CatmasTreeMayhem

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

  Commentary:
  "Today's motto: Giving it my almost, because let's be real, giving 100% all the time is just exhausting 😅💪 #AlmostThere"

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