Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.