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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Trending via Instagram:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Shared recently on X:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Just shared via Telegram:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Spotted on X:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

6 months ago

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

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Commentary:
"Sex is like my hair – sparse and elusive! 🙈 Maybe it's playing hard to get? Or perhaps it's just practicing social distancing? Whatever the reason, at this rate, tomorrow's forecast calls for more Netflix and less… well, hair-raising adventures! 💁‍♂️🚫"

change, hair, humor, i, joke, relationship, sex, today, tomorrow, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Just landed via Discord:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Spotted on Threads:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Just landed via Threads:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

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