Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'I have so much to do… and by so much, I mean binge-watching documentaries on how not to get away with murder 🍿🔪 #Priorities"

binge-watching, distraction, docusery, girl, girls, humor, i, killer, much, procrastination, serial, serial killer, snacks, start, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

0

2 months ago

addiction, back, change, comparison, dating, days, humor, relationship, trust
Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

0

1 week ago

age, borrow, borrowing, chair, chairs, Christmas, elderly, found, humor, just, loneliness, neighbor, over, own, spare, tomorrow, visit
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

0

4 months ago

advice, away, cleaning, disgusting, dish, dish sponge, hear, hygiene, i, kitchen, know, needs, sponge, throw
I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

0

2 months ago

annoying, back, banter, bed, couple, couple dynamics, dynamics, eyes, eyes roll, funny relationship, humor, i, just, not in bed, playful, playful banter, relationship, roll
If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, failure, humor, risk, skydiving, success
Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, alien, aubrey, Aubrey Plaza, celebrity, comedy, culture, Earth, famous, humor, leave, observation, plaza, pop, pop culture, study, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

31 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

11 shares on X this month:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

65 shares on X this month:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

61 shares on Discord this month:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Spotted on Slack:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Just landed via WeChat:

They expect me to work at work.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Seen just now on YouTube:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Trending via Messenger:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Shared recently on Slack:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨