Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Owning a pool is like becoming the ultimate social magnet – nothing screams popularity quite like being the source of cool refreshment on scorching days. Who knew a few gallons of water could make you the hottest host in town?"

activity, catch, catch up, day, friend, fun, fun activity, heat, hottest, hottest day, interest, pool, socializing, summer, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

0

2 months ago

burn, burn manuscript, creativity, deleting, deleting tweet, humor, manuscript, media, self-editing, social, social media, tweet, Twitter, writer
How do I un-know people?

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2 months ago

confusion, humor, i, interaction, people, relationship, social, social interaction, un-know
For the record, I use a turntable.

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2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, hobby, i, music, nostalgia, record, turntable
I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

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2 months ago

communication, end, humor, lol, people, sarcasm, sensitive, texts, tired
I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

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5 days ago

everyone, exhaustion, hours, humor, i, just, kid, kids, know, last, night, parent, rest, sleep, wanted
My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

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2 months ago

communication, conversation, conversations, even, habit, listening, me, relationship, saying, starting, weird, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Slack this month:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

89 shares on Threads this month:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Broadcasted on Threads:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Seen just now on Threads:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Going viral on TikTok:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Just landed via Instagram:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

How do I un-know people?

For the record, I use a turntable.

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨