38 funny heat quotes - Wordgag

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

May 30, 2026

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

May 30, 2026

The weather is getting hotter, so it’s only right I do the same.

May 29, 2026

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

May 29, 2026

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

May 28, 2026

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

May 28, 2026

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

May 28, 2026

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

May 28, 2026

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

May 28, 2026

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

May 28, 2026

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

May 28, 2026

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

May 28, 2026

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

May 28, 2026

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

May 28, 2026

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

May 28, 2026

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

May 28, 2026

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

May 28, 2026

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

May 28, 2026

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

May 28, 2026

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

May 27, 2026

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

May 27, 2026

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

May 27, 2026

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

May 26, 2026

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

May 26, 2026

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

May 26, 2026

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

May 25, 2026

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

May 24, 2026

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

May 23, 2026

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

May 22, 2026

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

May 22, 2026

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

May 22, 2026

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

May 22, 2026

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

May 21, 2026

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

May 21, 2026

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

May 21, 2026

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

May 21, 2026

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

May 20, 2026

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

May 19, 2026