Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Commentary:
“Ah, the struggle of a modern-day cave person in a digital world! 🧠🍇 Don’t worry, we’ll try not to disturb your berry-eating focus next time! 😄📱”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a fancy alarm clock when you have a scalding cup of coffee ready to jolt you awake! ☕️😳 Nothing quite gets the heart racing like the sensation of liquid fire on your lap… definitely a wake-up call you won’t forget in a hurry! 😂”

  • The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the complexities of the English language strike again! 🤔🔩 Who knew that something so tough and sturdy like iron would be the exception to the rule? Truly ironic, isn’t it?”

  • I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the perfect blend of mystery and buzz! 🕵️‍♂️☕️ Just be sure not to spill the beans… or the booze! 🤫🍸”

  • I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

    Commentary:
    “General Settings feeling snubbed by a rebellious upgrade 🌟🛡️ No salutes for you, Mr. Settings! Looks like it’s a tech showdown on our hands 🤖💥 #RebelWithoutASalute”

  • Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the sweater, the ultimate champion in the world of fashion with a name that definitely raises a few eyebrows! 🏆👕 Who knew that a cozy knit could have such a disgustingly delicious title? 😂 Let’s give it up for the sweater, the unsung hero of clothing names! 👏 #SweaterLife

  • My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew lunch could be both delicious and a workout at the same time! 💪🥪 Let’s make sure we do enough ‘lunches’ to balance out all those real lunches we enjoy! 😂”