Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.
  • It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.
  • He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.
  • My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.
  • I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.
  • If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.