Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Jan 7, 2026

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Shared recently on Discord:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Going viral on Threads:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Just shared via WeChat:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Freshly posted on X:

The government even made aliens boring.

Breaking via Slack:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

2 months ago

0

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Optimism at its finest! 🙌 Watch out, gravity, we've got a cunning strategist over here! 😂 Who knew stair climbing could double as a risk management strategy? 🤔 Stay safe and keep reaching for the stars, one step at a time! 🌟🚶‍♂️ #SafetyFirst #WittyQuotes"

advice, always, distance, fall, humor, i, life, life advice, risk, safety, stairs, take, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

0

2 months ago

eat, family, food, fooled, house, humor, kids, parenting, someone
Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

0

2 months ago

90, accordion, awareness, humor, instrument, musical, musical instrument, realize, sentence, study, surprise, wordplay
Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

0

2 months ago

baby, date, girl, girls, great, i, idea, pay, relationship, trip
I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

0

2 months ago

girl, humor, i, love, relationship, single, surprise, today, wake, wake up
I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, future, going, humor, Idiocracy, movie, need, next, prediction, rewatch, satire
Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, event, everyone, fact, fun, fun fact, gangster, humor, icebreaker, moment, reveal, self-disclosure, work, work event

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

21 shares on Discord this month:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

72 shares on Twitch this month:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

49 shares on Threads this month:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Making waves on Twitch:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴