Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Trending via TikTok:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Spotted on YouTube:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Live now on YouTube:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Seen just now on X:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Seen just now on X:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Spotted on Twitch:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Unstoppable force meets immovable drizzle 😂☔️

absolutely, am, bit, humor, i, irony, motivation, rain, rainy, unstoppable, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

0

2 months ago

always, appliance, appliances, coincidence, expense, getting, humor, know, money, refund, tax, timing
Blowing over it is also dusting.

0

2 months ago

blowing, cleaning, dusting, humor, irony, over, perspective
Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

0

4 months ago

accident, bed, blanket, breakfast, cozy, crime, crumb, food, humor, mess, morning, scene, snack, where
I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

0

2 months ago

culture, days, expression, fun, i, miss, music, nostalgia, rap
I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, bad, bad weather, driving, humor, i, mind, people, road, road safety, safety, traffic, weather
Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bad, bad idea, enjoyment, fun, good, good time, humor, idea, just, mean, risk, spontaneity, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Slack this month:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

74 shares on Threads this month:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

22 shares on WeChat this month:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

25 shares on Threads this month:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

12 shares on X this month:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

39 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Trending via TikTok:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Just shared via YouTube:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Trending via Twitch:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Just landed via Discord:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Going viral on Facebook:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨