42 funny absolutely quotes - Wordgag

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

May 30, 2026

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

May 30, 2026

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

May 29, 2026

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

May 29, 2026

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

May 29, 2026

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

May 29, 2026

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

May 29, 2026

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

May 29, 2026

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

May 29, 2026

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

May 29, 2026

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

May 28, 2026

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

May 28, 2026

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

May 28, 2026

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

May 28, 2026

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

May 28, 2026

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

May 28, 2026

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

May 28, 2026

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

May 28, 2026

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

May 28, 2026

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

May 28, 2026

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

May 28, 2026

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

May 28, 2026

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

May 27, 2026

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

May 27, 2026

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

May 27, 2026

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

May 27, 2026

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

May 27, 2026

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

May 27, 2026

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

May 27, 2026

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

May 27, 2026

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

May 26, 2026May 26, 2026

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

May 26, 2026

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

May 26, 2026

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

May 26, 2026

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

May 25, 2026

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

May 25, 2026

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

May 20, 2026

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

May 20, 2026

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

May 19, 2026

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

May 19, 2026