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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,932

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Live now on YouTube:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Making waves on Snapchat:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Trending via Threads:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Just shared via Twitch:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like he found the wrong kind of "ironic" love! 😉🎶 #YouOughtaKnow

alanis, Alanis concert, apology, caught, cheating, concert, humor, husband, i, infidelity, know, lyric, music, music concert, relationship, song, song lyric, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

1 month ago
car, casual, casual wear, clothing, dressing, fashion, getting, humor, i, just, meant, outfit, outfits, straight, style, think, wardrobe, wear
Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

3 months ago
bugs, Bugs Bunny, bunny, cartoon, entertainment, humor, introduction, much, music, opera, say
Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

1 month ago
again, coworker, coworkers, day, even, every, guy, never, quit, think, year’s
I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

1 month ago
convenience, frustration, going, home, humor, i, just, life, parking, point, priorities, where
The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

1 month ago
activity, cocktails, dining, dinner, enjoyment, food, fun, fun activity, getting, going, good, leisure, life, point, restaurant
Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

1 month ago
barista, beverage, coffee, everyone, frustration, good, humor, joke, lid, morning

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

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Activity Log ✨

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

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I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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