Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.
  • Everyone is awful in their own special way.
  • Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?
  • It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
  • Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”
  • My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.