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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Making waves on Slack:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Going viral on Discord:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Trending via YouTube:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Just landed via Messenger:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Just shared via Telegram:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

2 months ago

0

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎬👻 When you think you’re watching a horror classic but it's actually just a hilarious parody – plot twist! 😂 Who needs to scream when you can laugh your way through it all in Scary Movie! 🍿 #MovieMixUp #HorrorComedyFun

comment, friend, Goofy, humor, i, know, misunderstanding, movie, never, saw, scary, Scary Movie, scream, seen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

0

2 months ago

convenience, daily, daily life, else, experience, favorite, favorite part, grocery, grocery shopping, humor, life, me, parts, shopping, shopping experience, somebody, someone, someone else
How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

0

2 months ago

amount, change, confusion, days, humor, money, rent, same, where
A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

0

5 months ago

authentication, frustration, humor, me, poorly, request, security, stress, technology, thing, timing, two-factor, two-factor authentication
I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

0

2 months ago

food, hope, humor, i, kitchen, soup, spoon, wish
Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

0

4 months ago

again, application, company, decide, done, got, humor, i, job, job application, job rejection, persistence, post, rejection, same, sarcasm, saw
Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

0

5 months ago

brothers, finance, humor, i, income, money, motivation, need, passive, passive income, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on X this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Trending via Messenger:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Spotted on YouTube:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

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