Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Live now on Slack:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Just shared via WeChat:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Shared recently on Instagram:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Going viral on Discord:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Glad you found it! Sometime they like to play hide and seek. 😄🕵️‍♂️✨"

deprecation, happy, humor, humor quote, i, irony, last, night, report, searching, self, self-deprecation, soul, soul searching, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

0

2 months ago

breaking, breaking news, dark, dark humor, headline, humor, mistake, news, news headline, sister, suicidal, tragedy, twin
Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

0

2 months ago

comedy, confidence, Funny, humor, know, much, resilience, self-deprecating, trauma
If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

0

2 months ago

another, bad, bad decision, decision, decision making, friendship, here, humor, invitation, joke, looking, self-deprecation
I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

0

2 months ago

donut, donuts, food, guy, humor, hungry, i, kids, knows, little, misunderstanding, nephew, right, thanks, think, work
I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

0

3 weeks ago

box, dark, dark humor, heart, hoodie, humor, i, love, me, sarcasm, want
The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

0

4 days ago

aging, alarm, best, day, day off, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, routine, same, sleep, time, wake, waking, waking up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Threads this month:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

77 shares on X this month:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

52 shares on YouTube this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Live now on Messenger:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Just landed via Twitch:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Making waves on Instagram:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Just landed via WeChat:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Spotted on Instagram:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Trending via Twitch:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Going viral on Twitch:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨