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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Glad you found it! Sometime they like to play hide and seek. 😄🕵️‍♂️✨"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

0

5 months ago

advocate, devil, devil’s, devil’s advocate, existence, heaven, humor, irony, joke, legal, legal term, prosecutor, term, wordplay
I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

0

2 months ago

conversation, good, humor, interesting, listener, personality, social, wit
Double chins are better than double faces.

0

2 months ago

better, body, body positivity, chin, double, double chin, double face, face, faces, humor, positivity, self-image
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

0

2 months ago

anyone, before, close, competition, doors, elevator, else, hobby, humor, interaction, social, social interaction, trying, waiting
I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

0

2 months ago

going, going down, humanity, humor, i, observation, photography, pictures, sun, wonder
Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

0

2 months ago

automatic, automatic door, delay, door, door delay, doors, dumb, embarrassment, enough, everyday, everyday life, fast, humor, impatience, life, me, open, social, social embarrassment

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Instagram this month:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

86 shares on X this month:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

91 shares on Threads this month:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Trending via Telegram:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Going viral on Reddit:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Making waves on Slack:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Live now on Slack:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Shared recently on Threads:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Spotted on Messenger:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Making waves on Instagram:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Double chins are better than double faces.

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨