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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Freshly posted on X:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Making waves on X:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Going viral on Reddit:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Just landed via X:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Going viral on Telegram:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Just landed via Facebook:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I think God was high when he made me.

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Glad you found it! Sometime they like to play hide and seek. 😄🕵️‍♂️✨"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

0

2 months ago

agree, count, fingers, hand, humor, me, number, times, wife
My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

0

2 months ago

add-on, cost, eyeball, favorite, health, health insurance, insurance, insurance cost, sarcasm, teeth, tooth
Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

0

2 months ago

back, being, comparison, dating, dot, Facebook, hot, Hot or Not, humor, interaction, just, media, nostalgia, online, online interaction, should, social, social media
Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

anniversary, commitment, fitness, five, going, gym, humor, procrastination, start, today, tomorrow, year
“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

0

2 months ago

AI, boss, bus, coming, coworker, done, humor, ID, jobs, office, responsibility, sarcasm, soon, throw, under, work, workplace
Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

0

2 months ago

accidentally, appetite, bag, cheat, cheat day, chips, craving, day, eaten, ever, family, food, humor, indulgence, laziness, snack

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Twitch this month:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Just shared via Discord:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Live now on Snapchat:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Just landed via TikTok:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Live now on Threads:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Breaking via X:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨