Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, so THAT's why Rome wasn't built in a day – they forgot to invite you to the construction party! 😂 Looks like they missed out on the expert builder right here! 🏗️💪 #RomeWasntBuiltInADayButItCouldHaveBeenWithYou"

construction, day, historical, historical reference, humor, i, job, know, reference, Rome, sarcasm, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

0

2 months ago

7am, awareness, humor, i, kids, parenting, Saturday
As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

1

2 months ago

activity, dip, food, happy, i, joy, snack, something
Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

0

2 days ago

accidental, accidental humor, accidentally, awkwardness, concern, dark, dark humor, health, help, humor, i, mental, mental health, normal, normal people, people, social, social awkwardness, used
Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

0

2 months ago

chomsky, crazy, crazy name, humor, hungry, name, noam, Noam Chomsky, sound
I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

0

2 months ago

donut, donuts, food, guy, humor, hungry, i, kids, knows, little, misunderstanding, nephew, right, thanks, think, work
Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

0

2 months ago

control, control freak, dark, dark humor, death, eulogy, freak, funny perspective, funny thought, humor, i, loved, ones, own, perspective, quirky, relatable, say, thinking, thought, thoughts, want, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Spotted on X:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Making waves on Discord:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Just shared via Facebook:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Going viral on Telegram:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨