Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Just landed via WeChat:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Trending via Threads:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Spotted on Slack:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Freshly posted on X:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Going viral on Slack:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Going bananas on Slack:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs sleep when your 3 AM comedy show is on? 😂💤🎥

believe, funny video, humor, i, late, late night, media, night, social, social media, TikTok, video, videos

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

0

2 months ago

activity, democracy, fun, fun activity, humor, kid, kids, money, movie, parenting, pizza, vote
Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

0

5 months ago

20s, actually, adulthood, age, aging, being, crisis, humor, identity, identity crisis, life, life stage, mid-40s, stage, worst
The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

0

2 months ago

count, cynicism, humor, inconsistency, only, people, relationships, reliability, sarcasm, thing, trust
It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

0

3 months ago

clothing, fashion, fit, fun, gain, game, games, humor, jean, jeans, longer, weight, weight gain
In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

0

4 weeks ago

era, humor, internet, just, media, retweet, social, social media, speechless
The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

0

2 months ago

appointment, disappointment, ever, expectations, humor, irony, life, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

99 shares on Discord this month:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

21 shares on X this month:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Just shared via Discord:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Spotted on Snapchat:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Going viral on Reddit:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Spotted on Messenger:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨