Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Parenting tip: if you can't win an argument with your kids, just overwhelm them with the power of your vacuum cleaner! 🧹📺 Who needs words when you have the ultimate cleaning weapon at your disposal? 😂 #ParentingHacks"

argue, distraction, every, humor, i, just, kids, living, living room, parenting, room, surface, trying, TV, vacuum, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

0

2 months ago

again, before, cozy, dark, daylight, great, hour, humor, left, relaxation, sleeping, still, time, winter
Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

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5 months ago

asleep, better, book, even, everyone, middle, nice, night, peaceful, quiet, reading, relaxation, sleep, solitude, therapy
Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

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6 months ago

acceptance, ever, feel, guilt, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, i, pleasure, self, self-acceptance, why
At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

0

2 months ago

bacon, cooking, diet, food, humor, i, point, question, salad
Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

0

2 months ago

clumsiness, embarrassment, face, fall, faster, hand, humble, humor, nothing, phone, slip, slipping, technology
I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

0

2 months ago

am, hate, humor, i, morning, photosynthesis, sarcasm, saying, shining, sun, wake, wake up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Threads this month:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Broadcasted on X:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Live now on Facebook:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Shared recently on Facebook:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Just shared via Instagram:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨